We all know them; we all despise their creepy behaviour. Running around licking the shoes of our superiors, hardworking when there is a manager around, incognito when they are not. The yes man, the "I will do it for you boss" might be a half assed job, but they are there when there is someone of importance to impress. The work suck up, loves to make others look bad, whilst making themselves look amazing, normal people just get their heads down do the job, and here is Jane over here parading her work around, like a year three art project, doing everything in their power to get noticed. Boss comes to you asking about the job you have finished, and ow here is James not far behind, bringing his absolute cringe "sorry boss I would have picked that job up, but I was busy, would have done it quicker than him too" anything to try one up another. They always seem to rate themselves as one of the best employees, we all know their workload is rubbish picking up the easiest of jobs. The best part of these people, is when you overhear them talking to the manager, blowing so much smoke up their rear ends, the absolute cringe you overhear. terms for example "I love this company, you have done immense work in the running of this place", "yeah into the ground". James will be golfing every weekend with the executives; the Janes will be taking their bosses for lunch or brunch. Anyway, to get ahead I suppose, never on the back of hard work and graft, always with their silver tongue. Often wonder if they wipe the arse of their boss, see it now James asking if they prefer three ply. God, forbid you get on the wrong side of the work suck-up, they have the management wrapped around each finger, could easily get you a discipline. They absolutely love lobbing the "I am the favourite" around. The need to be centre of attention, it is overwhelming due to this weird relationship with the uppers, they know everything and will want to be the first to tell everyone, just so we all know just how well they are in with the owners. How many of us are just getting on with our work, and suddenly you see supers doing rounds, and yup you guessed it James is not far behind, like a little lap dog waiting on his treats, tongue hanging out panting away. Just want to walk past and trip the swine up, watch their head explode on the floor. How many times do we see these people mess up monumentally, and still manage to keep their position, if that was a normal worker, they would be reprimanded so hard their great grandkids would find it hard to get employed. How many have gone for a promotion knowing their work rate is incredible, knowing the job better than even their own family, never late and always going above and beyond. There is a catch though you are up against James, now James has zero integrity, messes up simple tasks and literally goes missing when management are out of sight. You would think you are a shoeing but alas, James has been manipulating and grooming them for this position for months. You miss out, they tell you that you do not fit their profile. Which probably in hindsight means, the face does not fit. No, they need a yes man not someone who actually cares and wants to make the company better but, bend over to their whims whatever they say goes, they do not want some who has ideas and vison. Secretly I believe most places love a good suck up, and maybe James is clever take the easy route. Work smarter not harder right? Maybe we should all follow James, see how companies run then.